What to Do if Your Friends Are Using Drugs or Alcohol
By Leslie Davis
When you and your friends were younger, you would spend time playing outside, dreaming of what it would be like when you got to high school. Now that you're there, you're still close with each other, but your friends are falling in with the wrong crowd and have started using drugs and drinking alcohol.
You don't want to get in the way of your friends having some fun, but you are watching your friends develop a substance abuse problem. You want to do something about it, but you're not the adult -- what can you do?
If you see your friends becoming addicted to drugs or alcohol, there are some things you can do to try and help them before it becomes more severe:
Recognize the Problem
It's not uncommon for teenagers to experiment with alcohol or drugs during high school. But there is a huge difference between having a drink or doing drugs on occasion and having an alcohol or drug addiction. Here are some things to look out for to determine if your friends have developed a drug or alcohol addiction:
- They get drunk or high on a regular basis
- They hang out with new friends who use drugs or drink
- They lie about their drug use or drinking
- They come to school drunk or high, or skip class to use
- They pressure you to use drugs or drink
- They borrow or steal money to buy alcohol or drugs
- They drink or use drugs when they are alone
- They have driven while drunk or high
- They need alcohol or drugs to have fun or cope with their problems
An addiction to drugs or alcohol can lead to such negative outcomes as problems in school, depression, risky sexual behavior and health difficulties -- all of which can be damaging to your friends both now and in the long term.
Start a Conversation
Talking to your friends about their substance abuse may not be easy. A lot of people who use drugs and alcohol are in denial that they even have a problem and will not be willing to have a conversation about it. It's easy for teens to blow off their use of drugs or alcohol as "just having some fun," thinking they can stop at any time.
But if you've recognized that your friends have a problem, you can try to have a conversation with them about it. Don't try to talk with them while they are drunk or high -- not only may they not remember the conversation, but they are more likely to get defensive, angry or act out because they may feel attacked. Wait until you know they are sober, and find a time and place where you can get their attention and try to have an actual conversation.
Don't Be Confrontational
The worst thing you can do when talking to your friends about their potential problem is to be accusatory or confrontational. Doing so may make them less likely to want to talk to you, and it may cause them to cut you out of their lives completely.
Instead, let your friends know that you're worried about them and how their drinking or drug use is affecting them and their lives. Help them talk through any issues they are having that may have led them to use in the first place. Most importantly, let them know that you are there to support them and help them manage their lives without using substances to cope.
Talk to an Adult
Nobody likes to feel as though they are tattling on their friends, but it may be necessary to get an adult involved if your friends are using. If you are worried about your friends and need some advice on what to do, talk to your parents or a school counselor. They may have a good perspective on how to handle the situation without you having to reveal who you are talking about.
If you have attempted to talk to your friends without any results, or if you are worried for their safety, you may need to talk to your friends' parents. They may not be aware of their teens' problem, and are in the best situation to help their child. Let them know what you've observed and why you're worried, and suggest to them that therapy, a residential treatment center or a boarding school for troubled teens may be helpful for getting their child back on track.
Take Care of Yourself
Your friends' drug or alcohol addiction may not just be impacting them. It may also be impacting you. You may be the person they call late at night to drive them home, who lets them borrow money or who covers for them when they cut school. If you are that person, there's a good chance you are feeling stressed and having a hard time saying no.
But remember that it is up to you to say no, and to let your friends know that you won't tolerate this behavior. By regularly helping your friends get out of situations they've put themselves in through their drug or alcohol use, you may only be enabling their behaviors, making them less likely to stop.
Taking care of yourself is important, and you should always remember to do what's best for you before trying to do what you think is best for your friends. If the relationship you have with your friends is negatively affecting you, you may want to reconsider having these people in your life. Though that may not be an easy thing for you to do, especially if you have been friends for a very long time, it may improve your well being and could be the wake-up call your friends need to admit they have a problem.
